Restaurants,Shoes and Buyer’s Remorse

Have you ever been to a restaurant, you arrive and you look at the menu. Depending on the time of the month and your financial status , you look at what they have and then look at what you can afford. You then make your order, somewhat satisfied with the same order you make every time you are there.

When your food arrives you dig and savor the taste which quenches your hunger. And then the waiter brings the food of the person at the next table, the fragrance lifts you off your seat. You look at their food with fascination and then look at yours and get depressed and dis satisfied and you wish you had ordered what he had ordered even if it cost a little more.

Have you ever been on the high street or in the mall. As you pass by a shop, something catches your eye. It’s amazing, so beautiful, you can’t take your eyes off it.

Without a second thought you rush into the shop and put it on your credit card, even though you know you can’t afford it. You take it home and try it on, and absolutely
love it.


You wake up and see the newly purchased item , and it doesn’t look so good. In fact, you are thinking What on earth was i thinking???. But it’s too late, you have spent the money, and are stuck with something you don’t want.

Ladies will be more familiar with this. Those expensive shoes that are too tight, but look so great, you still buy them, and then a day later they look ugly,tighte than you remember,don’t match anything in your wardrobe and now you have a debt that isn’t worth it.

It’s called Buyer’s Remorse.

Unfortunately, many people take this approach to relationships. They see or meet someone and get all excited. Like the person that rushes into the store without a second thought and put that item on the card, they rush into relationships;relationships that they can not psychologically,emotionally ,financially or spiritually afford in the long run. A relationship they enter based only on attraction or personality but not character.

Unlike the shoes, they may enjoy the sensation for weeks or even months, before remorse of some sort kicks in. They have invested in a person, a relationship, that may have some sort of value, but is more of a burden than they bargained for.

I’m not a relationship expert, far from it.In fact, i’ve been told categorically that because i don’t bounce in and out of relationships every so often, i know nothing and should not talk. So you can discard these analogies, and tell me that

“Love is not a science”.

“It’s not black and white”,

and my personal favourite

“You can’t translate such analogies to real life,things don’t always work out that way”

MAYBE, but one thing i know is, i can vicariously learn from other people’s mistakes and avoid them myself . I’ve seen too many “madly in love” engagements scatter beyond repair within a few minutes, and it had nothing to do with infidelity .I dunno about you, but i bruise like a grape,and I’d rather learn vicariously from those observations than experience it for my self.

Many of those that tend to make those excuses,are caught in vicious cycle.They are in and out of the same type of relationships 2 or 3 times within an 18 months span. They’d rather endure the pain of temporary pleasure they get from those relationships, than the patience of some ALONE time without any form of romantic involvement. A time they take to discover themselves and working on becoming the person that is ready for a better longer lasting and permanent relationship.

For those of you leaving your 20’s and still single. You may feel the need to “go for the next cute person that approaches”, as u feel u are running out of time. Unlike shoes the buyers remorse of relationships is a lot more painful, emotionally, psychologically and in some cases physically.

“Lead your life with your heart, but guide & manage your choices with your head”


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