Confessions of a Denominator

I am a denominator
the one recurring factor in the
vicious cycle that is my life,….my existence

I am obsessed with romance
I ignore all self control and throw caution to the wind
I enter relationships at the flick of a switch
driven by my hormones
i date whoever fires off my “feel good” neurones
regardless of if they lack character or respect me
I consider caring friendships that support me least priority
as they can never fulfil my romance fix
i jump in with my eyes closed and never test the water
and leap out scalded , because i never saw the fangs
showing as the lips peeled back behind that charming smile
and then i do it all over again because
well….all that affection ,care attention and support
from the sweet and nice person
still does not make my heart skip a beat
the way that charming devil, key word devil, does

Im lovely, why can’t i find a loving relationship?

I am an attention junkie
I move from person to person
and get attention from wherever i can
i barely pay attention during a conversation if its not about me
I prattle on all about ME ME ME
and check myself out in anything that reflects
i compose songs about myself and sing it to everyone that has ears
I am an emotional leach and i suck as much attention
that i can from you and move on to get a better fix elsewhere

By the way, why don’t you call me anymore?

I am like a tiger on the prowl
waiting to pounce and maul you
immediately you say something that offends me
i am berserker , I’ll tear you to ribbons
if you dare speak to me in any such manner that displeases me
my amnesia for all the wonderful things you said and done
kicks in the moment that you criticise me
i am meticulous about what i condone
and i will not be spoken to, by you or any other
in a manner that i only know, and deem worthy
you are expendable and i can do without you

….Hey ! where have all my friends gone?

I hate conflict and try my best not to rock the boat
I do my best not to offend anyone
and say yes and nod in agreement just to keep the peace
I approach everything in an understanding manner
and try to be as diplomatic as possible
i pay attention and hold my tongue when i should object
because i just don’t have the strength to debate about it
though it may be an issue that need to be addressed
I exercise patience even though you abuse that fact
every single chance that you get with no apology
I am easy to bully, all you have to do is
loose your temper, turn on the water works,
and i apologise even when i’m not in the wrong

Then why like Jabber Jaw, do i get no respect
from those i show nothing but respect?

I love adventure
I am down for whatever and up for anything
I love living for the moment and don’t care for consequences
Whatever is the flava of the moment count me in
life is too short to think about the long term
we might not be here tomorrow so seize the day
if it feels good, just do it
i have all forms of myopia,
my hedonistic desires blur the consequences
of my instant gratification needs
I’m fun, I’m exciting , I’m full of life

Then why is everyone else moving forward
and in meaningful relationships except me?

I have a list of everything that you must be
You are to fufill all my need and desires
as i lean back and make no effort to improve myself
you have to maintain me and be pleasing in my eyes
I verbally strip you down because i have to keep you in check
I show no appreciation, because you already know
Read my mind, you know what i don’t like
Change, Think, Keep that, Stop saying that
it’s just who i am , and i like it that way

Wait , where are you going , Are you leaving me??

I am the Denominator



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